{Guess How Much I Love You}

I love my sleep. I am not one who enjoys waking up. Ever. Well, that is until little Lucas joined our family. Now, even a 5:30 wake up call doesn't make me upset. (But I am sure that is entirely because he only wakes up once a night- if that. Good job little buddy.) I kind of cherish those moments, nice and cozy in our little room. It is a precious time, holding my baby close, with absolutely no distractions. His little hand resting on my chest, his pinky up like always. He's so posh. Everyone warns you about how sleep deprived you become as a parent, but if I lose sleep for moments like this, I don't mind one bit.

It has always been my dream to experience moments like these. All I have ever wanted was to be a mom, and fill my home with kids. I have nieces and nephews that I absolutely adore, so I thought I knew what it would be like to love my kids. But holy cow. The love does not even compare. Looking down at my sweet boy, with his crazy hair and all, I feel like my heart is going to burst. Then his daddy walks in and Lucas lights up every. single. time. and my heart explodes. (But that alone, deserves its own post.) I can't believe he is ours, and that my Heavenly Father has trusted me with something so incredibly special. If He trusts us enough to let us raise Lucas, maybe I need to have a little more faith in myself too.

There are times when I feel like I can't do much right. It's a tough task trying to balance being a mom, wife, working, etc. But then we read stories at night before bed, I start reading and Lucas looks up and smiles, then back down at the book. We turn the page, I start reading, he looks back at me and smiles, then back to the book again. Or when his little foot taps the book and he finds it so funny, I'm reminded all over again how special this time is in my life. He gives my life so much meaning. If I get emotional reading Guess How Much I Love You, that has to mean I'm doing something right, right? ;)

Hey Little Lukey,  "I love you right up to the moon, and back" a million times. Thanks for being ours.

Blessing Day

Sunday was such a special day for our little family. We blessed our little Lucas, and it could not have been more perfect. Watching the sweet men in our families, circle around our little guy, and hearing my  husband give such a beautiful blessing took my breath away. All day I couldn't stop asking myself, "How in the world did I get so lucky?"

I am so blessed, and so grateful to have this gospel in my life. I have always dreamed of marrying a man that made the gospel a priority in his life. A man that honored his Priesthood, and used it to strengthen our family. I am so glad I found that in a husband, and that he will teach our little guy by his wonderful example. We love our happy, little Lucas, and already can't imagine life without him.

Lucas Anthony

October 24th, 2013 will forever be a favorite day of mine. As cliche as it sounds, words can't describe the emotions I felt that day. The levels of excitement, love, anxiety, fear, and pure joy were off the charts. And to top it off, I got to experience it all with my sweet Teddy.

By the time I hit 38 weeks, I was beyond ready to meet our little guy. I was sick of the uncomfortable sleep, rotating through the 5 outfits that still fit (which consisted entirely of leggings and maxi skirts), and the constant anxiety of whether or not my water had broken. To say I was paranoid would be an understatement. I had had enough of the "Wow you're ready to pop" and constant stares at my belly from strangers. So when my due date came and went without getting to meet my babe I was a whole new level of frustrated and anxious. But then the day came, and all of a sudden I wasn't ready! Had I enjoyed my pregnancy as much as I could? Was I ready to not feel our little guy's every move? I would no longer be the only one to really know him, was I ready to share? Would I be a good mom? What if he won't breastfeed? What if we don't have that instant connection! How smooth would delivery go? Would my relationship with Teddy remain as strong as it was when we had a baby to constantly take care of? Would I feel incomplete without my belly, and being able to protect him at all times? I may have panicked a little {a lot}. And then, my sweetest husband gave me a beautiful blessing and even though my worries didn't go away, they were manageable and I was able to enjoy this special day.

Looking back, I only have one regret. I wish I wouldn't have been so over-the-top anxious about every little thing that was coming my way. But honestly, I don't think there is any way to prevent that. After going through such a sacred experience, I know that all those worries were so minor compared to the joy that would soon be overflowing from my heart.

{Almost ready to push!}

Finally, at 11:38 that night, I held my little boy. The warmth of his body on my chest was the sweetest thing I have ever felt. Feeling his {extremely long} arms and legs squirming, and hearing that sweet newborn cry changed my life forever. I was his mommy and I had no doubt that he knew that too. All of the sudden I was changed. I was no longer only a wife, sister, auntie, or friend. I was a mom and there is no greater calling I could ever dream of having in life. I cried and cried because already, being a mom was better than I had ever dreamed it would be. Watching Ted hold our sweet baby for the first time was heart wrenching in the best way possible. I had occasionally worried that they wouldn't have an instant connection because feeling a baby move from the outside is so different than feeling him roll around, and hiccup inside of you. I could not have been more wrong. I watched as our dark eyed boy looked at his daddy, and his daddy pulled him close with the biggest smile I had ever seen. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that we could do this. I knew it would be so hard at times, and we had so much to learn. But with these two boys on my team, how could I wish for anything greater?

Being a mom isn't easy. It is a constant battle of trying to find balance in a crazy, hectic life. But when I lay in bed with my husband and we contemplate whether or not we should wake up our sleeping angel so we can play with him, I know there isn't anything else in the entire world I would rather be doing. Watching our little Lucas light up when he sees Ted beats everything I ever dreamed of. His smiley eyes, toothless grin, and baby coos make me wonder what I was ever doing before this. How could it get any better? There isn't anything more important in my life than my family, and as imperfect as we are-- I wouldn't trade this for anything. I can't wait for the adventures we have ahead. Life is so wonderful, and it keeps getting better every single day.

Life Changes

2013 will always be considered one of the best years of my life. It was full of memories, and life changing events. Luckily, more good than bad :) If you would have told me last January that in one year I would have a 3 month old, I would have laughed in your face. But, here I am-- a mom of an adorable, precious, and studly little boy that I couldn't love more if I tried.

Last February I had this constant nausea, I had no idea what was wrong with me. It is crazy, I can remember Ted coming home late one night from basketball, and he came in to talk with me. I started out our conversation just fine and about 45 minutes later the sickness hit me. I thought I just needed to get some sleep. Well, long story short, it never went away and the whole time Ted told me I was pregnant. We weren't trying, and at the time we didn't have insurance so I was really freaking out. He went and bought a pregnancy test, and we were a little unsure if the results meant I was pregnant. The second line was so faint so we weren't sure how to respond.. Part of me wondered if the faint line was just a pigment of my imagination. Of course we turned to trusty Google, and everything we read said "2 lines=pregnant" no matter how light or dark it may be. But we just didn't want to get our hopes up. Even though we tried to hold it in, we started getting really excited. We stayed up all night talking about our little baby, names, and plans for the future. I couldn't stop looking at all the nursery ideas on Pinterest, and I scrolled through the baby clothes on so many websites.

We went to the mall the next day, and I have never noticed so many pregnant women. They were everywhere. And they all seemed so happy. It was then that I realized how badly I wanted to be one of them! I was ready for this experience. It's a crazy thing, taking a pregnancy test. I had so many emotions.. If it was positive, was I ready? Could we handle this change!? Would we know how to care for a newborn!? If it was negative, I knew I would be disappointed. All I have ever wanted to be in life was a wife and a mom! So we couldn't handle the uncertainty any more and we bought a digital test. We were beyond excited when "Pregnant" showed up. It was real, we were becoming a family of 3!

It was hard for me to believe. Even though Ted and I were getting ready to celebrate 3 years together, I didn't know if I was ready to share him. As selfish as that sounds, it's true. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be more grateful for this experience to have a baby with the love of my life, but it was a lot to take in. My sweet husband was my rock through the first few, difficult months. Well actually throughout the whole pregnancy. When I had my breakdowns he constantly reminded me how blessed we were, and that if it we were meant to have a baby now, we would. Even if we weren't quite sure.

That Valentine's Day we made our usual fort {kind of my favorite tradition}, and my heart had never been so happy knowing that we were going to be sharing our fort with our little babe the next year. It was an amazing 9 months of pregnancy. Words can't describe how special that experience is. I thought I loved my husband A LOT before, but it doesn't even compare to my love for him now. And holy cow, that baby we made? I've never been more proud of anything in my life.

Our Most Perfect Day {The Temple}

May 3rd, 2012 will always live down as one of the best days in my entire life. It was absolutely perfect, thanks to the help of so many special people. Everything went as planned, and even though it was a bit of blur {and super windy}, I loved every.single.minute.

 {Mr. & Mrs. Trujillo}

   

{My parents are incredible.. to say the least. They have been the best examples of what I want in a marriage, and they helped me every step of the way until I found my perfect match. They mean the world to me.}

{Meet Stella. She is my best friend from AZ and my #1 bridesmaid :)}

{My Fam. They traveled from all over to be here for our special day, and I couldn't be more grateful!}

{Me & My Boys. The best brothers I could EVER ask for}

{Ted's family. They are SO amazing, I feel so lucky to marry into such a special family! I have always felt so close to them, and I can't wait for all the fun we have ahead of us! I'm so happy to have so many new sisters!!! I love them!}

{Teddy & his boys}

{My beautiful friends. I feel so incredibly lucky!}

My cousin Jamey is our hero. He made us the most unbelievable wedding video to capture our special day. I might be a little biased, but I love it! I have probably watched it over 100 times now... embarrassing.

Here is the short version :) enjoy!

Our day was perfect and I have never felt so much joy in my entire life. The fact that I get to spend every day with this handsome fella makes me the happiest girl. I loved planning our wedding and the excitement that led up to it. But even more than that, I absolutely love having our own life together as a Mr. and Mrs.

I'm a lucky, lucky girl!

Wait, can you even believe it has been 2 months?! 

{all over again}

So almost THREE weeks ago {Can you even believe it has been that long?! Holy cow, time flies!!} I married a very special boy. And since then, we have started a very happy life together. I know I have so much to share about our perfect day, our lovely honeymoon, and our new home, but those posts will come soon. Promise.


Today, I'm sharing about my new life with my dreamy husband. I know it won't always be easy, but so far-- this guy has made being a newlywed ideal.

--There are those dumb days when everything we have to do starts piling up. Insurance, moving, everything we have to buy, school, work, etc. My stress levels get the best of me. But this guy knows how to just hug me and promises me that "everything will be just fine". He's so right- our world didn't end, and I feel at peace all over again.

--As we drive in the car, he reaches over and holds my hand. Then every once in a while he pulls it up and gives me a little kiss, and I get butterflies all over again.

--I'll admit it, I was a little worried to get married because I come from a house where my parents could do anything. And I mean anything. So I didn't know what would happen when I got married and they weren't there to fix every little problem I had. But then I married this guy, and he was an instant handyman. He built our shelf, fixed the water heater to get us hot water {HALLELUJAH!!}, made us a very great entertainment system for our room :), has killed multiple spiders {if that doesn't make him an insta-stud, I don't know what will!} and every time- I fell all over again.

--It's so hard leaving for work in the morning.. But when I get the little hugs from behind while I'm making our lunches it's ok we have to go, because I get to come home to the same place as him at night. And I get excited all over again! 

--When we're walking on the sidewalk and he switches me sides so he's by the street, I feel protected and safe all over again.

--A few nights ago, my cousin gave us our wedding video! We couldn't wait to watch it, but we didn't have our couch yet. So there we were, just cuddling all the floor, watching the perfect day that was the beginning of the rest of our lives. We were both on cloud 9 that whole day. I couldn't tell you any other time I have ever felt that happy, and that sure of the life we had chosen to live. Lying there on the floor, with my husband holding me-- I felt all those feelings of pure joy all over again {every time we watched it. Yes, multiple times!}.
  
--After a quick run down to the garbage we locked ourselves out.. No key, no phone to call someone with a key. Nothing. So I was going to climb over and through the window, but he insisted that I stay safe on the patio and he would do it instead. So I just sat watched as my monkey of a husband moved the screen, climbed around, and jumped through our window. I laughed and laughed, all over again. {well, I laughed once we were in safe and sound, good work Fancy Face}

--Hearing him talk about our kids we're going to have one day, and watching him play with our nieces and nephews makes me fall head over heels- you guessed it- all over again.

Sorry about the sappy love post. But this guy kind of means the world to me, and I thought you should know some of the reasons why. ;) I promise there won't be such a long break between my next post. I'm extremely excited to get our wedding pictures and show them to you! Let's hope we get them soon! And our little place is becoming more "ours" by the day! Can't wait to share! xo

Birthday Princess

Happy 4th Birthday to my little best friend!

I don't know any little girl who is more loved.

She's our angel, our hope, and our sunshine. 

Love you Princess Gaga!